This is the first of many articles addressing a crisis in the golf world. A crisis that is ruining golf rounds all over the country and even in your own back yard. The crisis is slow play AKA the 5 hour round which is killing the sport. The first thing I want to clear up is that there is a big difference between taking your time and wasting everyone else’s. There is no issue with taking your time to make sure your putt is lined up or that you’re getting the right distance. But there is a problem with the asshole that sits on the tee box running his mouth about how his kid almost got a par here last week. It’s not that we don’t care, but we’re going to have a couple of minutes to get to our ball… why don’t you tell me about Johnny then?
The only thing comparable to the schmucks that are talking the whole time, when instead, they should be hitting the ball, are the people who think they are playing in the final pairing of the U.S. Open every. fucking. Saturday. When you’ve pulled out three different clubs for your 150 yard shot because you don’t know if you want it high and soft, low and runny, or any other combo is a huge problem. Like I said before, there is nothing wrong in wanting to be accurate, but when it’s taking you 2 minutes to get your club, and then you take a million practice swings, now we have a problem. And I’m gonna want to kill you.
What most people fail to realize is that golf is a mental sport, and all the indecisions you are creating when you change between that 7 and 8 every time is making the chance of you hitting that shot close smaller and smaller. We all aspire to play like the pros, and I know we see them on TV meticulously taking their time, but they are doing it for a living, and they aren’t looking for absolute perfection every time. They just might be looking for the shot to eliminate most trouble. At the end of the day, we are all out here trying to have some fun playing the best game ever imagined, and it’s pretty hard to do that if it’s taking forever for me to step up and massage an 8 iron to 3 feet if you’re standing on the green talking, Jerry?
lifetime looper 